Is this itttt.... Is this ittt? Is. this.. it.

So luckily things worked out in my favor, praise 'Em for that!

I have a million things to say. I can't focus on this reading homework because I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I just have to step up to the plate and stop worrying so much. God is in control, things will happen the way they happen, in His favor, for the better of me, whether I like that or not.

I struggle so much with not being in control. I have to keep reminding myself that although I have free will, I really have to let God control my life and not try to always do everything alone. Like trying to figure out the next year of my life. I want to stay a CA, but I want more responsibility. I want to be an ACD but I don't think I want THAT MUCH responsibility. I don't think I have enough experience to deal with what Victor has the strength to deal with every day of his life (or at least 5 days a week if it's not a holiday weekend lol :D ).

I am still here. Clearly God has my best interests in mind, and I am especially grateful that His wants for me are in line with what I want. That at least shows me I am pushing toward the right mindset.

Now.. I have this HUUUGE burden on my shoulders. Nothing is as touchy as my ever-changing malarkey with the male gender. Let's put it this way... there is a wonderful guy in my life who can basically never know how I feel about him (or how I felt? I don't know). How's that for drama?

My friends have helped so much with growing me as a person and as a coworker and as a woman. I am really grateful for the relationships I have built in and around my building. Nothing is as strong as the passion I have for this job and those relationships. I thrive in this... I live for this! It is definitely where I belong. As for next year, well... we will see.

For now... I have to keep my eyes on the prize. The Dean's List is in my grasp, I just have to get my priorities straightened out.


"I'll get mine... I'm gettin' mine!"