Unprepared

I knew this was coming, but there's just no way to prepare your heart for something that is going to hurt this bad. The last few days have been amazing.. heck, the last few months have been amazing. I wish we still had a few more. Yesterday was three months for us, ahh! We went to Pizzeria Bianco, it was really good but we decided the 2 hour wait is worth about a once a year trip (haha). So when he comes back in the Spring, we'll go again? That's about a year haha.

I have a couple more finals then I'm done, but until then I may not blog. I kind of wish that I would have been done last week, I mean by Friday at least, so I could have these next couple of days to just enjoy with Alex. He flies out Tuesday night around 6:45 I think he said.. ah it's just not enough time. It's never enough. So in spite of what I may say to you in this upcoming week, my heart, in fact, will be hurting. Mostly because I forgot what it was like not having him around. He was more than my boyfriend this semester, he was like my best friend. It makes me scared about North Campus next semester, I don't know if I will be able to form close relationships like I have here at Center. And at the moment I can't even dream about dating someone else, but who knows, those feelings may change.


Part of me doesn't want them to. And it's not real yet. It's not going to be real until I drop him off at the airport on Tuesday. And I'm going to come back here to campus, and it is going to feel so weird... it is going to feel like the Complex is empty. I just hate that I am losing him in more ways than one.