Life-thinking.

Uh-oh. It's that time again. Where I freak out about what I want to do with my life and where I'm going. This time it's different though. I legitimately do not know when I want to go to grad school, and where. My want to get out of this state is pulling me to California, but my lack of funding is anchoring me to Arizona. I don't want to do grad school at ASU. I don't even know about GREs, when I need to take them, if I have to take them, how to apply, when to apply, etc., etc...

I hope this doesn't make me look unambitious. I really want to do great things. But I'm so impatient that it's starting to get in the way of the steps I should be taking to get to where I want to go. There are things happening that I want to speed along and see where they take me. I want to fast forward and see what position I'm in a year from now. What do my relationships look like? How prepared am I for graduation? What kind of money have I saved, or am I making? Do I still work at Black Angus? I finally find a job that I love and I'm not absolutely sure if I should keep it or if I should be looking for a job that is more applicable to my field of study. Should I apply for an internship or to be someone's TA? Am I good enough for that?

I started wondering if I should switch my major again. I've started to get bored with psychology, but maybe it's just that end of the semester bore I find myself in about a month before every semester's end. Then about a month before school starts I get pumped up again and psyched for school, then I start to get demotivated and stop being consistent with my class attendance; it becomes much more sporadic, especially once I realize what classes I "have to" go to and which ones I can skip. It's not like I enjoy missing class, I just fail to see the point of going and I feel like I'm wasting my time. Heck, I'm wasting my time writing a blog during class when I should be paying attention.


I would probably like to pick up a second major or something, but I would be far more interested in graduating in 2009 than sticking around for another 2 or 3 years to begin finishing something. I just don't feel as smart as I should for being in college this long.