Life in general is...

So I was just thinking. Thinking about... how for the most part I am pretty happy with what's going on in my life right now. Aside from everything like having to get my truck fixed to not doing anything particularly notable for Spring Break, to having that feeling that I SHOULD be starting on that paper we had due like a month ago but I have yet to do that...

Then I started wondering, when do you know you are really happy? Like when is that definition made? And when it is ok to tell people that you are really truly content? Not complacent necessarily, or stagnant in a negative way, just that you kind of are enjoying the place you are currently standing in. I've had people argue with me that when I am not 100% "right" with God that I can't really be truly happy/fulfilled etc. I am working on that in my own time. But for right now, everything feels pretty good. :) I have a great boy, I am leading a life not primarily dominated by stressful thought (except around midterms haha), I am hanging out with people who lift me up rather than make me feel like some aspect of my life isn't being given all the attention it deserves. It's a weird spell... I am starting to think more and more about what I want to do after college because when I talked to John today he made me realize that May 2009 is a lot closer than I keep imagining... it's very real... I need to start considering who to consult when it's time to get those letters of recommendation written, or how about when I freaking take my GRE? Is the $600 or whatever really worth the prep course they are advertising? When do I need to take it... how many times... where do I send the results, and WHEN.

At this moment, my ideal plan is to move to California in the summer of '09, get a year of residency under my belt, then apply to grad school. Where would I work in the mean time? Under whom? For how much money? And how much would I need to make to sustain the lifestyle I want to live in California (not much different from the one I'm leading now aside from renting/buying my own place, having a newer/reliable vehicle, and possibly surf every single day?)... haha ok so that last part is definitely different. But there are so many factors to consider. And I just can't move alone. I wouldn't know who to take with me (not my mom, I need to get away from Arizona tie-downs. Maybe she could come live there, but not with me). In Summer 2009, I will be 22 years old. Approaching 23. And I will need to say that I have done something sufficient with my time in undergraduate school. Right now I feel like I'm just trying to make the grade for that expensive piece of paper that tells my credentials. It's almost... defeating. I need to start doing some research and start making friends with people who have been where I am going. I still have no idea where to start or what to do. Should I look for a place to live first, or a place to work first? What kind of job should I get? How close to the beach do I want to be? What proximity is that to my job? It's all a little overwhelming.