Suck-tember is almost over.
Bring on Rock-tober? The following things are awesome:
- Me, Lauren and Courtney's birthdays
- Saw 5 comes out (on my birthday, best b-day ever?)
- TRIP TO COLORADO for the RAppin' Conference (free vacation)
- State Fair begins again (yay)
- Cooler weather (bring it)
- Dodgeball tournament
- Halloween program put on by the community development committee (involving free food of some sort I'm sure)
Probably other stuff but whatever. I'm in such a bad mood, and I'm so sad :(
I keep trying to lean on God through these messes but every mess hits harder and stronger. I am trying to look at the positive and know that these trial times won't last forever.. and that when it's good, it's really good. I just have to keep being sure of that. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle... and actually typing that made me feel better because it's really hard to believe sometimes. But He doesn't do this just to get us down or see how hard we fall everytime we do fall. It's to see if we pick ourselves back up, and to test us. We always come out on top, and we come out stronger. I don't know what I'm worried about. It just feels like a long way to the top at this point. I feel like when it's really bad... I still keep trying to find the good in it. My mom has a hard time doing that, and I feel like I am the negative nelly. But I guess I just have to holdfast to hope. We're going to get right. I know we are.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Take Heart, cause You Know that You Have Mine
Well. I'm sitting here in the ASU Student Health Center, wasting my life away. I am starving. I am waiting for them to look at my knee and see if it's got problems. I am hoping nothing serious is wrong with it, and I hate coming in for something that ONLY hurts when I exercise, but the solution is NOT quitting ultimate or ending my bi-weekly treadmill runs. Not going to happen. But can someone please explain to me why it is that as soon as I am finally enjoying an active lifestyle, my health starts giving me issues? I guess this is what I get for living on campus. Living where I learn and work has come to be a blessing and a curse. But I love every minute of it.
On that note, let's talk about how much I love my job as a CA. My residents, although some of them know just the way to get on my last nerve, are for the most part really good, fun kids. Part of what makes this job so rewarding is knowing that we are their advantage: I'm a senior. I've been around ASU's block a number of times, I've been swept under the rug by financial aid, campus health and cashiering services more times than I can count, and I have felt the disappointment that goes with failing a test I was so confident that I passed more times than I care to remember. I've been sick, I've been in love, I've been lonely, I've been stressed and worried and angry and hungry and satiated. It's been a good mix of emotion, a long road and winding road, but the journey is almost over.
Can you believe it? This time in May I'll be a graduate of Arizona State University. With my bachelor's in psychology and a minor in religious studies. What will I be able to take with me? And who? What memories will I keep and which ones will I push out and try to forget? I'm counting on this to be a year seasoned with cherishable memories, much like spring semester. I'm looking forward to finally getting into a routine and establishing a study pattern that i can count to pull me through another grade report. I'm considering daily all the work I have left to do for me to apply to grad school. This isn't looking promising, all of this grad school business. But I'm doing my best at what I love to do and what I've been promising myself I would do since I was in elementary school. It's my dream, it is my parents' aspiration for me, it is the place in which God wants me to be so I can prepare myself to help others in the capacity he designed for me to do so, and I am excited.
I'm about to step into the real world, whatever that means. Adults have been telling us this since we were in junior high, that one day the real world is going to blindside us, and our weekends aren't always going to be free for partying, going out shopping, to dinner and movies with our friends. We are going to have "big people" jobs, we will eventually get married, settle down, have a family, take care of children, own a home, pay "real" bills (not like giving our parents money for our car insurance). It's all a little scary and surreal, but it's happening, it's coming, and there's nothing we can do about it but prepare and hope for the best.
On another note, I asked my friend a question tonight. It's a God question that I will leave you all with to ponder. Jesus calls us to be generous with everything he has blessed us with; our time, our finances, our gifts, our luxuries... so where are we allowed to draw the line? Must we always be at service to everyone? A large part of this is knowing when to say when, i.e. when to say no which I've found easy to do. Especially when it comes to those who have brought some kind of pain to our lives, whether it is unintentional or in ignorance. What do we do with that?
On that note, let's talk about how much I love my job as a CA. My residents, although some of them know just the way to get on my last nerve, are for the most part really good, fun kids. Part of what makes this job so rewarding is knowing that we are their advantage: I'm a senior. I've been around ASU's block a number of times, I've been swept under the rug by financial aid, campus health and cashiering services more times than I can count, and I have felt the disappointment that goes with failing a test I was so confident that I passed more times than I care to remember. I've been sick, I've been in love, I've been lonely, I've been stressed and worried and angry and hungry and satiated. It's been a good mix of emotion, a long road and winding road, but the journey is almost over.
Can you believe it? This time in May I'll be a graduate of Arizona State University. With my bachelor's in psychology and a minor in religious studies. What will I be able to take with me? And who? What memories will I keep and which ones will I push out and try to forget? I'm counting on this to be a year seasoned with cherishable memories, much like spring semester. I'm looking forward to finally getting into a routine and establishing a study pattern that i can count to pull me through another grade report. I'm considering daily all the work I have left to do for me to apply to grad school. This isn't looking promising, all of this grad school business. But I'm doing my best at what I love to do and what I've been promising myself I would do since I was in elementary school. It's my dream, it is my parents' aspiration for me, it is the place in which God wants me to be so I can prepare myself to help others in the capacity he designed for me to do so, and I am excited.
I'm about to step into the real world, whatever that means. Adults have been telling us this since we were in junior high, that one day the real world is going to blindside us, and our weekends aren't always going to be free for partying, going out shopping, to dinner and movies with our friends. We are going to have "big people" jobs, we will eventually get married, settle down, have a family, take care of children, own a home, pay "real" bills (not like giving our parents money for our car insurance). It's all a little scary and surreal, but it's happening, it's coming, and there's nothing we can do about it but prepare and hope for the best.
On another note, I asked my friend a question tonight. It's a God question that I will leave you all with to ponder. Jesus calls us to be generous with everything he has blessed us with; our time, our finances, our gifts, our luxuries... so where are we allowed to draw the line? Must we always be at service to everyone? A large part of this is knowing when to say when, i.e. when to say no which I've found easy to do. Especially when it comes to those who have brought some kind of pain to our lives, whether it is unintentional or in ignorance. What do we do with that?
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