A lot of relief coming from my end of things as the semester wrapped up entirely for winter break. I had the opportunity to tell someone something I had been waiting a very long time to say. I found out how much I mean to someone I don't think I'd know what to do without. I have some time to consider the fact that other people's futures coming to life are not what my future is supposed to be, a virtue of leading different lives. I am slowly learning that our successes should be shared but not necessarily the same. And I am discovering how valuable I am... as a friend, a daughter, a student, a mentor, a role-model, and a life-long learner.
The future is freaking me out and I am trying to get the next stage of my life figured out before I come to a dead end.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Things that REALLY Grind My Gears
I thought about it today and realized that there are a lot of things that bother me about the world. I figure it's better to jot them down in a journal or blog than let the things get to me, so here we go. A list of things that tick me off.
- People who act like they are too busy for life, and then want to be your friend when it's convenient for them rather than trying to make you a priority and make the time work (this is not directed at any specific person, rather it's just something that has happened a lot to me in my life).
- I hesitate to use the word "men" because real "men" probably have this figured out by now, but here we go anyway... Men who treat women like a. We owe them something, b. We should just forget about them when they are ready to move on from us in a dating relationship/friendship/etc., c. We should be kissing their feet simply because God created them first (I think that's really STUPID rationale when quite frankly without women, for a myriad of reasons, the world would literally stop turning)... mainly I'm just tired of "men" who WISH they were men rather than little boys, or those who can't grow up out of their immaturity (the college years DO end you know!). Furthermore...
- If you are 26 years old, you are a male, and you don't have your life figured out yet, now might be the time. It might be the time to STOP playing around with female hearts, GET a real job, SHOW the world that you have some direction... I understand extenuating circumstances, but there is no reason for a 26 year old man to be making out with girls and then disrespecting them in social situations (spoken from experience, it's true).
- The sound that drippy things make (like the shredded beef I took out of Amanda's crock pot tonight... yuck). This sound also goes with the noise coffee makes when being poured into a cup. It literally makes me cringe.
- Wind. I know it sounds weird, but... I get so annoyed when I am trying to do something, and either my hair is all a mess, or my belongings are blowin' everywhere... Just tonight for example, I was trying to change the windshield wipers on my truck and fill up my windshield wiper fluid. Then the F'ing wind comes up and I have to fasten down everything that would fly away (the packaging for the new wiper blades etc). DUMB. Wind is pointless, and it is rarely welcomed. Especially when it's hot air or that really foolish 40 mph wind that usually indicates the monsoon is about to make its unwelcomed appearance.
- People who come into where I serve food and tell me "I know... I serve(d) food, too. I know what it's like." No, you really don't know what it's like! Yes you have probably dealt with foolish people in the past, people who don't know how to tip or treat other human beings in general, but working at Oregano's is not like working at random Jo Schmo restaurant down the street. It is nothing like Applebee's or any place like that, and I can ASSURE you that it is absolutely nothing like Black Angus. Everything is different, from the emphasis we place on the guest, to how much heart we put into our pizza. So please, do your servers a favor and don't tell them you know how hard they've got it. That is, unless you plan on leaving like a 25% tip.
- I could go on all day about the things that bother me in food service, but my love for it outweighs the nit-picky things I hate about it. I will say one more thing though: people who come in, tell you what a great server you are, what amazing service they were given, how tasty the food was and how at home they feel, then barely tip 15%. If we wowed you, tip us 20 or 30! I appreciate all the tips I get because I Know times are tough. The very fact that people are coming out to eat and dine with me at all is a miracle itself. But along with verbal praise, the way I can be shown gratiTUDE is through gratUITY. That's how I make my money, that is what pays for my college expenses, and that is what I want. I can't pay bills with how much you loved the pizza. And again, I am appreciative of all the money I do make, but this is just me being nitpicky.
- Girls who KNOW their advantages in life and make other people feel worthless because they are not under the same advantage. In my case, it is girls/women/females who have "generous proportions" as I'll politely put it... for those of you who are a little slower I'll spell it out for you... there are too many women these days who use their breasts and "assets" to get what they want. Whether it's in the work place or at the bars. Unfortunately in a lot of scenarios that is all the person cares about who is honoring this ubiquitous use of blessings, so it works out for both of these parties. But really, in 10 years, your boobs will be saggy anyway, and I'll still make great conversation and have intellect and/or experiences worth sharing with others. You will have a few one night stands, liver cancer, and possibly herpes. For the men reading this who are offended: you know you do this, and FYI boobs and ass do not talk back. They cannot cook your dinner. They will not raise your children. They will not care about you when the world is making you feel small. Most importantly, they will not love you. So... think about it.
- Friends who are not friends. Friends who used to be friends. In hindsight I realize it's a lot like losing touch with the people we went to elementary school/junior high and high school together... maybe you shared a few valuable experiences but in reality those people are not your lifetime friends. It is unfortunate that I have just recently learned this at 22 years old, when a lot of the people who I thought were true friends were actually just pieces of my present becoming my past. This, I realized, doesn't mean I shouldn't put value and effort into their friendships. However, it does mean that the recognition of these relationships early will often prevent you from disappointment by their actions later.
- People who take on leadership positions purely for the perks. They are not benefiting the team, they are being selfish. They were hired because they can hit an interview out of the park, if we are speaking in baseball terms. They feigned enthusiasm and attitude and heart and desire to get what ultimately would only benefit them and hurt others. Being a CA has really opened up my eyes to what potential there lies in the business world for people getting jobs who have no business having them, or just having the job for the wrong reasons. After the little I have read in the last week or so about leaders... I mean we really need to start hiring people who are GREAT. Not people who are okay, or who will foot the bill, fill the "pozish." People who have PASSION and ZEAL and who really want to make things better for other people. People who care about others. That's what I want to see.
- If I hear one more person tell me what a poor choice of career move I made in my decision to become an elementary school teacher, I am going to scream. After what I Just said about leadership and taking the position for the betterment of society... if I wanted to make 6 figs I would have majored in business. But I didn't. I majored in liberal arts, because I wanted to diversify my field of knowledge and have more of the tools at hand I would need to single handedly attempt making the world a better place. CEOs and fat cats on Wallstreet are not our heroes: teachers, firefighters, police officers, army men and women, librarians, professors... these are our heroes. Serving the greater good, furthering the knowledge and safety of our country. We are not a dumb nation, but we will become one if we keep placing emphasis on areas it doesn't belong (hello AZ budget cuts on education MAYYYBEEEE?).
That's all I've got for now. Working a double in the morning.
- People who act like they are too busy for life, and then want to be your friend when it's convenient for them rather than trying to make you a priority and make the time work (this is not directed at any specific person, rather it's just something that has happened a lot to me in my life).
- I hesitate to use the word "men" because real "men" probably have this figured out by now, but here we go anyway... Men who treat women like a. We owe them something, b. We should just forget about them when they are ready to move on from us in a dating relationship/friendship/etc., c. We should be kissing their feet simply because God created them first (I think that's really STUPID rationale when quite frankly without women, for a myriad of reasons, the world would literally stop turning)... mainly I'm just tired of "men" who WISH they were men rather than little boys, or those who can't grow up out of their immaturity (the college years DO end you know!). Furthermore...
- If you are 26 years old, you are a male, and you don't have your life figured out yet, now might be the time. It might be the time to STOP playing around with female hearts, GET a real job, SHOW the world that you have some direction... I understand extenuating circumstances, but there is no reason for a 26 year old man to be making out with girls and then disrespecting them in social situations (spoken from experience, it's true).
- The sound that drippy things make (like the shredded beef I took out of Amanda's crock pot tonight... yuck). This sound also goes with the noise coffee makes when being poured into a cup. It literally makes me cringe.
- Wind. I know it sounds weird, but... I get so annoyed when I am trying to do something, and either my hair is all a mess, or my belongings are blowin' everywhere... Just tonight for example, I was trying to change the windshield wipers on my truck and fill up my windshield wiper fluid. Then the F'ing wind comes up and I have to fasten down everything that would fly away (the packaging for the new wiper blades etc). DUMB. Wind is pointless, and it is rarely welcomed. Especially when it's hot air or that really foolish 40 mph wind that usually indicates the monsoon is about to make its unwelcomed appearance.
- People who come into where I serve food and tell me "I know... I serve(d) food, too. I know what it's like." No, you really don't know what it's like! Yes you have probably dealt with foolish people in the past, people who don't know how to tip or treat other human beings in general, but working at Oregano's is not like working at random Jo Schmo restaurant down the street. It is nothing like Applebee's or any place like that, and I can ASSURE you that it is absolutely nothing like Black Angus. Everything is different, from the emphasis we place on the guest, to how much heart we put into our pizza. So please, do your servers a favor and don't tell them you know how hard they've got it. That is, unless you plan on leaving like a 25% tip.
- I could go on all day about the things that bother me in food service, but my love for it outweighs the nit-picky things I hate about it. I will say one more thing though: people who come in, tell you what a great server you are, what amazing service they were given, how tasty the food was and how at home they feel, then barely tip 15%. If we wowed you, tip us 20 or 30! I appreciate all the tips I get because I Know times are tough. The very fact that people are coming out to eat and dine with me at all is a miracle itself. But along with verbal praise, the way I can be shown gratiTUDE is through gratUITY. That's how I make my money, that is what pays for my college expenses, and that is what I want. I can't pay bills with how much you loved the pizza. And again, I am appreciative of all the money I do make, but this is just me being nitpicky.
- Girls who KNOW their advantages in life and make other people feel worthless because they are not under the same advantage. In my case, it is girls/women/females who have "generous proportions" as I'll politely put it... for those of you who are a little slower I'll spell it out for you... there are too many women these days who use their breasts and "assets" to get what they want. Whether it's in the work place or at the bars. Unfortunately in a lot of scenarios that is all the person cares about who is honoring this ubiquitous use of blessings, so it works out for both of these parties. But really, in 10 years, your boobs will be saggy anyway, and I'll still make great conversation and have intellect and/or experiences worth sharing with others. You will have a few one night stands, liver cancer, and possibly herpes. For the men reading this who are offended: you know you do this, and FYI boobs and ass do not talk back. They cannot cook your dinner. They will not raise your children. They will not care about you when the world is making you feel small. Most importantly, they will not love you. So... think about it.
- Friends who are not friends. Friends who used to be friends. In hindsight I realize it's a lot like losing touch with the people we went to elementary school/junior high and high school together... maybe you shared a few valuable experiences but in reality those people are not your lifetime friends. It is unfortunate that I have just recently learned this at 22 years old, when a lot of the people who I thought were true friends were actually just pieces of my present becoming my past. This, I realized, doesn't mean I shouldn't put value and effort into their friendships. However, it does mean that the recognition of these relationships early will often prevent you from disappointment by their actions later.
- People who take on leadership positions purely for the perks. They are not benefiting the team, they are being selfish. They were hired because they can hit an interview out of the park, if we are speaking in baseball terms. They feigned enthusiasm and attitude and heart and desire to get what ultimately would only benefit them and hurt others. Being a CA has really opened up my eyes to what potential there lies in the business world for people getting jobs who have no business having them, or just having the job for the wrong reasons. After the little I have read in the last week or so about leaders... I mean we really need to start hiring people who are GREAT. Not people who are okay, or who will foot the bill, fill the "pozish." People who have PASSION and ZEAL and who really want to make things better for other people. People who care about others. That's what I want to see.
- If I hear one more person tell me what a poor choice of career move I made in my decision to become an elementary school teacher, I am going to scream. After what I Just said about leadership and taking the position for the betterment of society... if I wanted to make 6 figs I would have majored in business. But I didn't. I majored in liberal arts, because I wanted to diversify my field of knowledge and have more of the tools at hand I would need to single handedly attempt making the world a better place. CEOs and fat cats on Wallstreet are not our heroes: teachers, firefighters, police officers, army men and women, librarians, professors... these are our heroes. Serving the greater good, furthering the knowledge and safety of our country. We are not a dumb nation, but we will become one if we keep placing emphasis on areas it doesn't belong (hello AZ budget cuts on education MAYYYBEEEE?).
That's all I've got for now. Working a double in the morning.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Future at Large
Well, as usual, it's been a while. Since last time, I've graduated from ASU, lost my job at Black Angus to the recession and gained a job at Oregano's to my betterment. I've never felt like such a great food server as I do there. The standards are much higher, the guests are a lot more fun, and the money is GREAT. Don't get me wrong, I miss my BA, but home girl got bills to pay.
Ah yes, bills. The tell-tale sign that you are growing up is when you owe your hard earned cash to "the man." If I could do it again, I would definitely refrain from getting more than one credit card, but credit has definitely saved my butt when it comes to school. I've had to put almost all my books on credit cards for the last three years of my undergrad. That's easily $1000 right there. Then there's all the work I've had done on my truck, and probably some unnecessary purchases peppered throughout, but let's face it: if it wasn't for credit, I'd be a completely different person going to community college and still not sure what I want to do with my life.
I think I've figured out what I want to do with my life. With any luck, me and Lauren will be moving to California next summer. In fall 2010 I'll begin my certification to become a teacher at CSU San Marcos. With absolutely every fiber of my being, I am determined to end up in California. The sheer fact that Lauren casually mentioned in conversation whether I would need a roommate makes me certain this is supposed to happen. It wasn't a reality until last weekend. And I just don't think it's a coincidence that at the same time our friendship is strengthening, she reveals to me that she too would like to be in California as well. It's a dream that's coming true, and I could not possibly be more stoked.
The thing of it is, had I been smart my senior year of high school, I would have made my way out of Arizona then for my 4 years of undergrad because I get grants for school anyway. But... I wouldn't have made the friends I have or accomplished the feats I have accomplished, necessarily, if I hadn't stayed here.
The main reason I started this blog though was to express my anger over the fact that my dad is already giving me the whole "Teachers don't make any money" lecture, telling me I need to get out of education and "go for my PhD." He doesn't respect my choice of profession. That's a given. My feelings are that it is a selfish notion on his part because he thinks that his last hope for living large is for me to get into a high paying profession, then with MY earnings, house, clothe and feed him... because he's my dad, and apparently that's MY job, because he hasn't been able to successfully and persistently do this on his own his entire life. I am fully supportive of taking care of our parents as they age, but not because they simply don't want to take care of themselves anymore. I don't forsee this being a problem with my mom, but I'm almost certain my dad's mindset is looking at me seeing dollar signs. Unfortunate, but true.
I don't know. Maybe he's right. But if I was really going to spend my life worrying about how big of a house I'll end up living in... I'd have become a doctor or a lawyer or a buisness person. My intention has always been that whatever profession I pursue, it will be one to help the people, benefit the public. I mean, my degree is in liberal arts after all. But I am super pissed that my dad thinks he can dictate what I do with my future when he has contributed little to nothing to my education thus far. Help me figure that one out.
Ah yes, bills. The tell-tale sign that you are growing up is when you owe your hard earned cash to "the man." If I could do it again, I would definitely refrain from getting more than one credit card, but credit has definitely saved my butt when it comes to school. I've had to put almost all my books on credit cards for the last three years of my undergrad. That's easily $1000 right there. Then there's all the work I've had done on my truck, and probably some unnecessary purchases peppered throughout, but let's face it: if it wasn't for credit, I'd be a completely different person going to community college and still not sure what I want to do with my life.
I think I've figured out what I want to do with my life. With any luck, me and Lauren will be moving to California next summer. In fall 2010 I'll begin my certification to become a teacher at CSU San Marcos. With absolutely every fiber of my being, I am determined to end up in California. The sheer fact that Lauren casually mentioned in conversation whether I would need a roommate makes me certain this is supposed to happen. It wasn't a reality until last weekend. And I just don't think it's a coincidence that at the same time our friendship is strengthening, she reveals to me that she too would like to be in California as well. It's a dream that's coming true, and I could not possibly be more stoked.
The thing of it is, had I been smart my senior year of high school, I would have made my way out of Arizona then for my 4 years of undergrad because I get grants for school anyway. But... I wouldn't have made the friends I have or accomplished the feats I have accomplished, necessarily, if I hadn't stayed here.
The main reason I started this blog though was to express my anger over the fact that my dad is already giving me the whole "Teachers don't make any money" lecture, telling me I need to get out of education and "go for my PhD." He doesn't respect my choice of profession. That's a given. My feelings are that it is a selfish notion on his part because he thinks that his last hope for living large is for me to get into a high paying profession, then with MY earnings, house, clothe and feed him... because he's my dad, and apparently that's MY job, because he hasn't been able to successfully and persistently do this on his own his entire life. I am fully supportive of taking care of our parents as they age, but not because they simply don't want to take care of themselves anymore. I don't forsee this being a problem with my mom, but I'm almost certain my dad's mindset is looking at me seeing dollar signs. Unfortunate, but true.
I don't know. Maybe he's right. But if I was really going to spend my life worrying about how big of a house I'll end up living in... I'd have become a doctor or a lawyer or a buisness person. My intention has always been that whatever profession I pursue, it will be one to help the people, benefit the public. I mean, my degree is in liberal arts after all. But I am super pissed that my dad thinks he can dictate what I do with my future when he has contributed little to nothing to my education thus far. Help me figure that one out.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
In my head there's a Greyhound Station where I send my thoughts to far off Destinations
Let's just be honest. If the answer was different, I would be stoked.
Oh college. How I love you. How I love your twists and turns, your giving of high hopes and your taking away of the same. Your inevitables and your avoidances. The entering and exiting you assist with of people in my life, and the keepings out and the keepings in of them. Your success givings and your failure provokings. Your blessings and your curses. Your loves lost or never explored. I love college.
Well, it's March. That means a new month in which another complete emotional breakdown should make its regularly scheduled appearance at some point. Yikes. Not looking forward to that. Just a little over two months till graduation. Cannot believe it's already that close. I haven't done anything to prepare for it except the obvious registrar's paperwork... I still need cap and gown, invitations which I am now making since neither my mom or myself can afford to buy them. Lame. Was hoping for a class ring but I probably don't need that either.
Since being in a bad situation with my credit card, I am having to take another look at my spending habits and stop being so foolish with money :\
BTW, what is UP with men? Someone please explain to me why they are making my life so difficult right now!!! Guys, I love ya, but let's figure it out hm?
Oh college. How I love you. How I love your twists and turns, your giving of high hopes and your taking away of the same. Your inevitables and your avoidances. The entering and exiting you assist with of people in my life, and the keepings out and the keepings in of them. Your success givings and your failure provokings. Your blessings and your curses. Your loves lost or never explored. I love college.
Well, it's March. That means a new month in which another complete emotional breakdown should make its regularly scheduled appearance at some point. Yikes. Not looking forward to that. Just a little over two months till graduation. Cannot believe it's already that close. I haven't done anything to prepare for it except the obvious registrar's paperwork... I still need cap and gown, invitations which I am now making since neither my mom or myself can afford to buy them. Lame. Was hoping for a class ring but I probably don't need that either.
Since being in a bad situation with my credit card, I am having to take another look at my spending habits and stop being so foolish with money :\
BTW, what is UP with men? Someone please explain to me why they are making my life so difficult right now!!! Guys, I love ya, but let's figure it out hm?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Is this itttt.... Is this ittt? Is. this.. it.
So luckily things worked out in my favor, praise 'Em for that!
I have a million things to say. I can't focus on this reading homework because I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I just have to step up to the plate and stop worrying so much. God is in control, things will happen the way they happen, in His favor, for the better of me, whether I like that or not.
I struggle so much with not being in control. I have to keep reminding myself that although I have free will, I really have to let God control my life and not try to always do everything alone. Like trying to figure out the next year of my life. I want to stay a CA, but I want more responsibility. I want to be an ACD but I don't think I want THAT MUCH responsibility. I don't think I have enough experience to deal with what Victor has the strength to deal with every day of his life (or at least 5 days a week if it's not a holiday weekend lol :D ).
I am still here. Clearly God has my best interests in mind, and I am especially grateful that His wants for me are in line with what I want. That at least shows me I am pushing toward the right mindset.
Now.. I have this HUUUGE burden on my shoulders. Nothing is as touchy as my ever-changing malarkey with the male gender. Let's put it this way... there is a wonderful guy in my life who can basically never know how I feel about him (or how I felt? I don't know). How's that for drama?
My friends have helped so much with growing me as a person and as a coworker and as a woman. I am really grateful for the relationships I have built in and around my building. Nothing is as strong as the passion I have for this job and those relationships. I thrive in this... I live for this! It is definitely where I belong. As for next year, well... we will see.
For now... I have to keep my eyes on the prize. The Dean's List is in my grasp, I just have to get my priorities straightened out.
"I'll get mine... I'm gettin' mine!"
I have a million things to say. I can't focus on this reading homework because I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I just have to step up to the plate and stop worrying so much. God is in control, things will happen the way they happen, in His favor, for the better of me, whether I like that or not.
I struggle so much with not being in control. I have to keep reminding myself that although I have free will, I really have to let God control my life and not try to always do everything alone. Like trying to figure out the next year of my life. I want to stay a CA, but I want more responsibility. I want to be an ACD but I don't think I want THAT MUCH responsibility. I don't think I have enough experience to deal with what Victor has the strength to deal with every day of his life (or at least 5 days a week if it's not a holiday weekend lol :D ).
I am still here. Clearly God has my best interests in mind, and I am especially grateful that His wants for me are in line with what I want. That at least shows me I am pushing toward the right mindset.
Now.. I have this HUUUGE burden on my shoulders. Nothing is as touchy as my ever-changing malarkey with the male gender. Let's put it this way... there is a wonderful guy in my life who can basically never know how I feel about him (or how I felt? I don't know). How's that for drama?
My friends have helped so much with growing me as a person and as a coworker and as a woman. I am really grateful for the relationships I have built in and around my building. Nothing is as strong as the passion I have for this job and those relationships. I thrive in this... I live for this! It is definitely where I belong. As for next year, well... we will see.
For now... I have to keep my eyes on the prize. The Dean's List is in my grasp, I just have to get my priorities straightened out.
"I'll get mine... I'm gettin' mine!"
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